Bleeding Tears, Lonely Nights

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hmmn... well.. last week i jus discovered a new emotion in me... bloodlust if u might wanna call it... really jus pure blood thirsty rage... i kinda felt like i coulda killed some one that day... friday... geez... I have absolutely no respect for that whining, gay, spoilt-brat of a lecturer teaching my class critical reasoning skills... heck... I can't even be bothered to remember his name... enough about that day... erm.. back to the present or the rest of the days heading up to the present... well... i just discovered audacity... a music editing program... and well.. actually it isn't really that good... can't clean up properly... or maybe I just don't know how... anyone who thinks they can help?... well
ok.. got that outta the way... anyway yea... last week(start from wednesday).. well... shawn called.. asking if they could have the marathon at my place... had my doubts... but in the end we could... or at least my parents said we could... but in the end... i had to chase the rest outta the house at about midnite... on behalf of my mom... that night i didn't sleep... i was up on the comp... with... carbernet sauvignon... red wine... i like it... but... i was damn drowsy in the morning for school... possibly hung over... bah... who cares... thats when the fucking gay ass decided to make life much harder... start telling me about my attitude... saying he has to talk to my class lecturer... he menstruating or something?... anyway... i realise he a fricking spoilt brat... cause after lesson, all i called for... was to ask for directions on where to find his mail box... and then he starts to complain that my attitude sucks... and even had the nerve to ask me whats wrong with me(was about to say "what isn't") but then it would have made him feeling all sorry for me... as if i need a gay spoilt brat feeling sorry for me... jesus... lets let the gay be... for now... wondering if he might sue me... for "hurting his feelings"... anyway that day... i was on that bloodlust...
how to recognise...
1)stares blankly at anything
2)no blinking... at all... for about a minute or so
3)complete disregard for anything around(including traffic lights apparently.. just lucky/unlucky I guess)
4)force used for extremely simple tasks is multiplied... (had to retune my guitar strings like 8 times that day... and when i opened a bottle... the cap jus flew off)...
5)of course... VERY VERY irratable... (small things pissed me off alot)

hmmn todays entry is basically... well... whining... i disapprove of it... but today i'll make a fucking exception...

on to saturday... nothing happened all day... until about 7+... went jamming... for 2 hours at this new jamming centre in tampines... sweet place.. guitar amps and stuff were pretty good... and the people there are damn nice... woulda taken a picture to place on the wall.. but all of us were dressed like.. "ah peks" *slippers and singlets and stuff like that*

jamming
hmmn... jamming is like therapy to me i realise... all the shit that happens to me reflects usually while jamming... as alot of my friends say... "your poor guitar"... Every time i scream into the mic... I get outta breath... every riff on the guitar... i usually play as intensely as possible... sometimes i fool around too... just for fun... *scream shut up into the mic and stuff like that*...

oh well... now then... sunday... heh... first... i went to mass with nicola... haha... nice to finally meet u madame... *bows*... then had to rush home for a party at my uncles... after that... hmmn... well i went home first... then headed to katong shopping centre to play bf2 with jeremy, jiahong, dan and kelvin... wow... we got owned... oh well... no actually... i owned them(but thats only cos i changed sides at the last minute of the game and went to the winning side)oh well... high treason... lifes like that...

bit about me
favourite words:Melancholy, Obliterate, Lament, Dissonance
favourite song:Last Sunrise by Aiden
favourite emotion:happiness... who doesn't want to be happy... most are just incapable of doing so... no one wants to be sad...

8:18 p.m. - 2006-11-20

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